Breakups are rough. And I should know. My ex and I broke up over five times in less than five years. I thought about writing this post over the summer but I had a temporary relapse. I guess I wasn’t totally ready to let go. This final time I was. And I didn’t treat it like a breakup. I instead, decided to make my breakup a breakover.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about breakups is you have to let go. My friend sent me this quote that I now save in my phone:
“One of the happiest moments ever
is when you find the courage
to let go of what you can’t change.”
This quote really spoke to me. I’ve been trying to be more spiritual and even did a few rituals to help with letting go process. My friend recommend this site which I’ve been dabbling with in the spiritual sense. But I wanted to share the most helpful ways I’ve been able to make my breakup a breakover in case you’re going through something similar…
Keep a Morning Gratitude Journal
This has been key for me. I started back up with The Miracle Morning and reading The Secret as my reading portion (you can read more about it here). Even on a days when I woke up feeling like absolute crap I still stepped out of bed saying I was grateful. I wrote down in a journal what I was was grateful for. Sure, as I was writing “I am grateful for my wonderful parents and amazing friends” I was thinking about my ex. But gradually, I was able to focus. I still have my bad days but it really helps to kick off the morning with a positive outlook on life.
Make a Physical Change
You can track on my Instagram the times my ex and I broke up. I switched up my hair, either chopping it off or changing the color. It was a release for me and the positive comments that resulted boosted my self esteem. Whether it’s your hair, a spray-tan or simply playing with a new signature lip color, having a physical change can majorly help.
Make Time for Working Out
I don’t really enjoy working out. I wish I did but I’ve just never been a gym person. But it is true what they say. Physical activity simply makes you feel better. It’s also a great social activity. I’ve reached out to friends to join me at workout classes or to go on hikes. I find having a workout buddy makes you stick to following through with the task much better than tackling it alone.
Buy Yourself Fresh Flowers
This is such a small one but it really helps! You don’t have to spend too much money either. I swing by Trader Joe’s once a week and spend about $8 on bunches of flowers and make little arrangements around my house. I usually go for yellow because it’s my favorite color and just makes me feel cheerful.
Indulge in Some Pampering
I treated myself to a massage after my breakup and it was just the right amount of pampering. It helped me relax and it felt good to indulge a little. Since I can’t treat myself to massages on a weekly basis, I try to do a face mask a few times a week and just unwind with a good book. If you need tips on spa nights at home you can check out this post and this one.
Don’t Worry about Dating Immediately
It always bothered me that the minute I’d breakup with my ex everyone would push me to get on a dating app immediately. I’m still not ready for dating apps. I prefer the more traditional way of getting set up by friends or randomly falling for someone you meet at the grocery store (I know, I’m so old fashioned!). Maybe I’ll get on an app one day. Who knows? But for now, I’m just trying to focus on me and the things that make me happy: seeing my friends, laughing at my silly dog, Bunny Bell, and doing everything that I can do to better myself.
I’d love to hear if you have any tips on how to get over a breakup!
Photos by Michelle Kyle